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mak_imma
Sahabat Sokmo
Sahabat Sokmo


Female
Number of posts : 243
Country : di kaki pelangi
Registration date : 24/06/2007

PostSubject: Jokes.....   Thu Jun 28, 2007 1:41 pm

BUKA CAWANGAN....... nono nono


Seorang suami sedang mencari-cari helah untuk membolehkan dia
berkahwin lagi.


Antara alasan yang diberikannya:

Suami : Lelaki kawin 3 baru lah sah

Isteri : Kenapa pula?

Suami : Cuba
terjemahkan ke dalam Bahasa Inggeris, "satu" is one, "dua"
is two, "tiga"
isteri (is three). Baru betul dan
sah!.



Isteri : Tapi abang kena faham Bahasa Inggeris,
terutama tentang "singular" dan "plural"


Suami : Berkenaan apa tu?

Isteri : Satu tu "Singular"; dua atau
lebih "Plural"


Suami : Contohnya?

Isteri : One car sebagai singular, two cars
sebagai plural. Apa bezanya?


Suami : Ohhh... tambah huruf "s" untuk yang
plural



Isteri : Betul tu. Sama juga la untuk abang

Suami : Macam mana pula boleh sama?

Isteri : Satu isteri abang MAMPU, jika dua isteri
dah jadi plural, maka abang MAMPUS
tambah "s" je, kan?

Lepas daripada tu, si-suami tidak pernah lagi berceritakan
hasratnya untuk berkahwin lagi...
clapping
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mak_imma
Sahabat Sokmo
Sahabat Sokmo


Female
Number of posts : 243
Country : di kaki pelangi
Registration date : 24/06/2007

PostSubject: Re: Jokes.....   Thu Jun 28, 2007 1:48 pm

OFFICE BOY

A jobless man applied
for the position of "office boy" at Microsoft. The HR

manager interviewed him then watched him cleaning the floor as a test.



"You are employed" he said. "Give me your e-mail address and
I'll send you

the application to fill in, as well as date when you may start.



The man replied "But I don't have a computer, neither an email".

"I'm sorry", said the HR manager. If you don't have an email, that
means

you do not exist. And who doesn't exist, cannot have the job."



The man left with no hope at all. He didn't know what to do, with only $10

in his pocket. He then decided to go to the supermarket and buy a 10Kg

tomato crate. He then sold the tomatoes in a door to door round. In less

than two hours, he succeeded to double his capital. He repeated the

operation three times, and returned home with $60. The man realized that he

can survive by this way, and started to go everyday earlier, and return

late. Thus, his money doubled or tripled every day.

Shortly, he bought a cart, then a truck, and then he had his own fleet of

delivery vehicles.



5 years later, the man is one of the biggest food retailers in the
US . He

started to plan his family's future, and decided to have a life insurance.

He called an insurance broker, and chose a protection plan. When the

conversation was concluded the broker asked him his email.



The man replied, "I don't have an email."



The broker answered curiously, "You don't have an email, and yet have

succeeded to build an empire. Can you imagine what you could have been if

you had an e mail?!!"



The man thought for a while and replied, "Yes, I'd be an office boy at

Microsoft!"



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mami^rugged
Sahabat Sokmo
Sahabat Sokmo


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Number of posts : 76
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Registration date : 25/06/2007

PostSubject: Re: Jokes.....   Thu Jun 28, 2007 3:14 pm

thumbs up! leh MAMPUS laughing
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Mel007
Sahabat Sokmo
Sahabat Sokmo


Number of posts : 542
Registration date : 22/06/2007

PostSubject: Re: Jokes.....   Wed Jul 04, 2007 10:35 am

hehe.. yg part2 jokes nih.. mmg aku lemah ... kalo tukang gelak buleh!!! hehehee...
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mami^rugged
Sahabat Sokmo
Sahabat Sokmo


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Number of posts : 76
Country : sungai chao phraya,bangkok siam
Registration date : 25/06/2007

PostSubject: Re: Jokes.....   Wed Jul 04, 2007 10:51 am

One politician, One thief & One DELL employee died & went straight to hell.

Politician said "I miss my country. I want to call my country and see how everybody is doing there." She called and talked for about 5 minutes,then she asked "Well, devil how much do I need to pay for the call????

The devil says "Five million dollars".


The Politician wrote him a cheque and went to sit back on her chair.


Thief was so jealous, he starts screaming, "My turn! I wanna call the my group members, I want to see how everybody is doing there too"


He called and talked for about 2 minutes, then he asked "Well, devil, how much do I need to pay for the call????


The devil says "Ten million dollars".

With a smug look on his face, he made a cheque and went to sit back on his chair.

DELL empl was even more jealous & starts screaming, "I want to call my office friends and managers ",

He called other DELL employees and he talked for twenty hours about pendency and monthend, sales figures and targets, he talked & talked & talked,
then he asked "Well, devil how much do I need to pay for the call????


The devil says "Twenty dollars".

DELL empl is stunned & says "Twenty dollars??? Only ??"


Devil says




-




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-




scroll down




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-




-




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-


-



.

Calling from Hell to Dell is Local Call titter
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along
Sahabat Sokmo
Sahabat Sokmo


Female
Number of posts : 334
Country : Cloud Nine
Registration date : 22/06/2007

PostSubject: Re: Jokes.....   Wed Jul 04, 2007 2:11 pm

makkkkkkkkkkkkkkk................I like....laughing

mami.....hahahahaha.....

_________________
"Kemerdekaan sebenar adalah kemerdekaan jiwa dari pengabdian sesama makhluk kepada keluhuran akidah hanya kepada Allah." - Mufti Perlis, Dr Mohd Asri
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Mel007
Sahabat Sokmo
Sahabat Sokmo


Number of posts : 542
Registration date : 22/06/2007

PostSubject: Re: Jokes.....   Wed Jul 04, 2007 11:34 pm

hehhee... kelakar..
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mami^rugged
Sahabat Sokmo
Sahabat Sokmo


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Number of posts : 76
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Registration date : 25/06/2007

PostSubject: Re: Jokes.....   Tue Jul 10, 2007 4:39 pm

along wrote:
makkkkkkkkkkkkkkk................I like....laughing

mami.....hahahahaha.....


titter
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Abeerah
Sahabat Sokmo
Sahabat Sokmo


Female
Number of posts : 309
Registration date : 23/06/2007

PostSubject: Re: Jokes.....   Wed Jul 11, 2007 6:25 pm

hahaha lawakkkk....nie ok ok abee nak join....

Ni Kisah benar...lah lawak BENAR Very Happy

Ada satu student perempuan nie baru datang study so english dia masih tahap basic lah...so masa tengah belajar tu dia sewa rumah... rumah dia tu di belakang rumah tuan punye rumah tu.... means her house is at the back lah....

Satu hari nie dia nak suruh kawan dia tolong angkat benda kat rumah dia (rumah dia yg kat belakang tu). Mamat Sri Lanka ni mmg ok lah cakap english dia..

Dengan bersungguh2 si minah Sri Lanka nie beritahu dgn mamat tu (sambil geleng kepala eh),.......

"Joshie, come to my backside"

grinning ...ini adalah kisah benar bukan rekaan semata2...
titter

_________________
"...kadangkala ALLAH hilangkan sekejap matahari..Kemudian DIA datangkan pula guruh & kilat..Puas kita menangis,mencari di mana matahari! Rupa2nya ALLAH nak hadiahkan kita PELANGI..."
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mak_imma
Sahabat Sokmo
Sahabat Sokmo


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Registration date : 24/06/2007

PostSubject: Re: Jokes.....   Thu Jul 12, 2007 9:51 am

Abee.....

Ni dah kes bahaya ni..............grinning grinning titter titter
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mami^rugged
Sahabat Sokmo
Sahabat Sokmo


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Number of posts : 76
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Registration date : 25/06/2007

PostSubject: Re: Jokes.....   Thu Jul 12, 2007 12:11 pm

abe lolz grinning

Meh baca lawak nie pulakk...

Karangan budak darjah 4

Pagi itu pagi minggu.

Cuaca cukup sejuk sehingga mencapai takat suhu beku.

Sebab itu saya tidak mandi pagi sebab air kolah jadi air batu dan air paip
tidak mahu keluar sebab beku di dalam
batang paip. Pagi itu saya bersarapan
dengan keluarga di dalam unggun api
kerana tidak tahan sejuk. Selepas itu
emak saya mengajak saya menemaninya ke
pasar. Tetapi saya tidak mahu. Selepas
emak menikam perut saya berkali-kali
dengan garfu barulah saya bersetuju
untuk mengikutnya. Kami berjalan
sejauh 120 kilometer kerana pasar itu
letaknya 128 kilometer dari rumah.
Lagi 8 kilometer nak sampai pasar saya
ternampak sebuah lori kontena meluru
dengan laju dari arah belakang. Dia
melanggar emak saya. Emak saya
tercampak ke dalam gaung. Dia
menjerit "Adoi!". Lepas itu emak saya
naik semula dan mengejar lori
tersebut. Saya pun turut berlari di
belakang emak saya kerana takut emak
saya melanggar lori itu pula. Pemandu
lori itu nampak kami mengejarnya. Dia
pun memecut lebih laju iaitu sama
dengan kelajuan cahaya. Kami pula
terpaksa mengejar dengan lebih laju
iaitu sama dengan dua kali ganda
kelajuan cahaya. Emak saya dapat
menerajang tayar depan lori itu. Lori
itu terbabas dan melanggar pembahagi
jalan lalu bertembung dengan sebuah
feri. Feri itu terbelah dua. Penumpang
feri itu yang seramai 100 orang
semuanya mati. Pemandu feri itu sangat
marah. Dia pun bertukar menjadi
Ultraman dan memfire pemandu lori.
Pemandu lori menekan butang khas di
dalam lori dia..lori itu bertukar
menjadi robot Transformer. Mereka
bergaduh di udara. Emak saya tidak
puas hati. Dia pun terus menyewa
sebuah helikopter di Genting Highlands
dan terus ke tempat kemalangan. Dia
melanggar pemandu feri yang telah
bertukar menjadi Ultraman itu. Pemandu
feri itu terkejut dan terus bertukar
menjadi pemandu feri semula lalu
terhempas ke jalanraya. Pemandu feri
itu pecah. Pemandu lori sangat takut
melihat kejadian itu. Dia meminta maaf
dari emak saya. Dia menghulurkan
tangan ingin bersalam. Tetapi emak saya
masih marah. Dia menyendengkan
helikopternya dan mengerat tangan
pemandu lori itu dengan kipas
helikopter. Pemandu lori itu
menjerit "Adoi..!" dan jatuh ke bumi.
Emak say menghantar helikopter itu ke
Genting Highlands. Bila dia balik ke
tempat kejadian, dia terus memukul
pemandu lori itu dengan beg tangannya
sambil memarahi pemandu lori itu di
dalam bahasa Inggeris. Pemandu lori
itu tidak dapat menjawab sebab emak
saya cakap orang putih. Lalu pemandu
lori itu mati. Tidak lama kemudian
kereta polis pun sampai. Dia membuat
lapuran ke ibu pejabatnya tentang
kemalangan ngeri itu. Semua anggota
polis di pejabat polis itu terperanjat
lalu mati. Orang ramai mengerumuni
tempat kejadian kerana ingin
mengetahui apa yang telah terjadi.
Polis yang bertugas cubamenyuraikan
orang ramai lalu dia menjerit
menggunakan pembesar suara. Orang
ramai terperanjat dan semuanya mati.
Selepas itu emak saya mengajak saya ke
pasar untuk mengelak lebih ramai lagi
yang akan mati. Di pasar, emak saya
menceritakan kejadian itu kepada
penjual daging. Penjual daging dan
peniaga-peniaga berhampiran yang
mendengar cerita itu semuanya terkejut
dan mati. Saya dan emak saya terus
berlari balik ke rumah. Kerana terlalu
penat sebaik saja sampai di rumah kami
pun mati. Itulah kemalangan yang
paling ngeri yang pernah saya lihat
sebelum saya mati.


KESIMPULAN :: GILE GHUPENYE DAK NEH!
titter laughing
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PostSubject: Re: Jokes.....   Today at 1:45 pm

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